(Editor’s Note: This piece is part of a joint series between the Beckham County Record and Elk City News in an ongoing series on the fentanyl and opiate pandemic in Beckham County.)
“Twenty years I lost — just threw away — chasing this high, not wanting to go around my family or real friends before I hit my bottom and decided I had to get better. That is when my sweet mother, Sandra Harrison Keel, died on October 29, 2020. Her dying wish was for me to get clean. She was only 57 years old, and I know I would like to live until 70 to see my children grown. And, at that time, they all resented me. It wasn’t good, and I knew it was death, jail, or recovery. Plus, I didn’t want to let that angel of a woman down. I was gonna get clean for her. I only wish she was here to see it,” Jamie Keel sighed.
Keel has been an Elk City resident from tip to tail. Like so many who enjoyed the laidback upbringing of sun-kissed western Oklahoma sunsets, he is a Beckham County boy from tip to tail.
During his high school years, his name was heard weekly, making key plays for the Big Elks football team. He was a key player and started for the iconic Elk City High School squad, who gloriously denied their chief rival, the Clinton Red Tornados, a state championship. They beat the Reds 21-0 at Oklahoma State’s grand stadium, bringing home the lone gold football in the Elk City trophy case.
He and his classmates were celebrated hometown heroes, and Keel very much walked the part. Keel was light-hearted and funny around his friends and classmates. Rain or shine, a smile was upon his face. His beloved grandmother Frieda, who had helped tremendously raising him, was a guaranteed fixture at every game or event. She, too, is now gone, and she, too, has played an irreplaceable inspiration in his recovery.
Naturally, he got up to teenage shenanigans, typical of ‘90s-era kids hopped up on top comedies like American Pie. But, his antics at that time were pretty tame for the time and compared to some of his peers.
“I smoked weed for the first time when I was 15,” he recounted. “It wasn’t an everyday thing. Sometimes we would drink a little something on the weekends. You remember how it was. Things didn’t start to escalate until 2002, when I first tried meth. And, honestly, it wasn’t really something I wanted to do. I know people say that, but I was trying to look like the cool guy and just did it,” Keel recounted.
Before long, Keel was hooked. The drug had taken over his life. Then two years later, the problem escalated when he found opiates through a well-known pain pill.
“I switched to Lortabs and man, that was the worst thing I could have done,” Keel admitted. “I couldn’t live without them. The withdrawal is insane, but so is the meth, really. I can’t explain how it takes over your life. I started to gain weight. I was embarrassed about how I looked for the first time ever. It wasn’t like I have ever had a ton of vanity, but this was like my body and face were becoming a fat, old man overnight. I did a whole five years of that — either doing them every day or looking for them every day. It was exhausting.”
Like many people struggling with active addiction, Keel went back to methamphetamine. Although he says he was determined not to use heroin or fentanyl, he admits that it is very likely he at least used fentanyl within methamphetamine at some point.
In the current drug market, fentanyl is commonly added to methamphetamine and other street drugs, so dealers gain a reputation for having a better “product.”
Experts advise that users get free fentanyl testing strips to detect fentanyl in other street drugs to avoid accidental overdose. Those can be found at www.okimready.org.
When Keel’s mother was dying, he says he couldn’t grasp the reality of the situation due to drugs clouding his thoughts.
“Even if I would have been sober, I’m not sure I could have let myself accept what was happening,” he remembered. “But that only made it worse. All that poison had always been a way to block out the traumas I had endured, so that was definitely what I was leaning on then. None of that made it not real, though. She died, and I lost valuable time that I cannot get back with her while doing this nonsense. I got on my knees and prayed to God that I promised to get better if he helped me, and it has all been going up since then.”
That, however, does not mean the journey was easy. His body battled unholy symptoms of detox. He had to isolate from friends — some people he truly liked — because they also battled this disease.
Keel was also knee-deep in grief for his mom. His heart was broken into “a thousand pieces,” a time that would have normally left him seeking the blissful escape of a good high even more.
Yet, he remained determined.
Also, at that time, he had met the woman who would become his wife. Keel waited until he was starting to get in a better head space, knowing that this woman was remarkable, before becoming too serious about their relationship.
He credits her and their children — a true Brady bunch blended family — with assisting in his recovery. Keel also had several friends and family members who were cheering loudly for his renaissance.
“My kids really wouldn’t talk to me much when I was using, and I don’t blame them. I had let them down so many times,” he admitted. “But as soon as I started to recover, they came back into my life. That is something I don’t take for granted. Not everyone gets that kind of second chance. I won’t take it for granted. I’ve also gotten married to probably the best woman on earth. I’d have to be an idiot to mess that up with her. I knew I needed someone that didn’t use, and this woman does nothing. She might really be a saint. I’ve got a good job and a quiet life. I get to be grandpa, and that is a blessing. God saved me. They saved me. I say to anyone using that there is always hope. Reach out to me. Reach out to someone else. We do recover, and it is the best feeling you will ever have. You just gotta have your support system, man, however that looks,” Keel smiled.
