Christmas can be a time of joy and togetherness, or of stress and family tension—often driven by unmet expectations; magnified by nostalgic Christmas hope and hype.
Very often when families gather, because of underlying financial or relationship problems, members may not get along, increasing tension and escalation of anger. At first thought, it might seem easier to avoid holiday gatherings altogether. However, staying away creates greater resentment in family members who already feel rejected. The better option is to attend difficult gatherings, deciding ahead of time to refuse to be offended by offensive behavior. Dealing with stress and conflict in this way can be the beginning of healing within the family.
One way to minimize Christmas disappointment is to de-emphasize the materialistic aspect of Christmas. Research repeatedly shows people enjoy higher levels of contentment and joy when focused on the positive aspects of family and spiritual growth, rather than how many big gifts are under the tree. Millions of advertising dollars are spent annually to convince consumers that buying is what makes Christmas joyful. However, satisfaction is measurably deeper when some of the money normally spent on personal gifts is donated to a charitable cause or a needy family.
Over-scheduling and over-decorating are two of the greatest stressors during the Christmas holiday, because time is stretched far beyond reasonable limits. Available activities include Christmas plays and parties, Christmas Eve services, light tours, and much more.
Added to the avalanche of events, we’re dismayed by the magical neighborhood transformation that apparently happened overnight. Suddenly, “every house but ours” has candles twinkling in the windows and a musical display of reindeer dancing on the roof.
Stop torturing yourself—we can’t all be Martha Stewart! A pre-lighted “non-living” tree, from the current crop of amazingly realistic inventory, is a beautiful sight. Allow children to help decorate, even if, when they finish, all the ornaments are two feet from the floor and huddled in a bunch for company. But who cares? They’re proud of their contribution to the festivities!
Finally, the best way to change the level of Christmas expectation is to invite Jesus to His own birthday party! For 40 years, it’s been our family tradition to have a “Happy Birthday Jesus” cake. It’s a good visible reminder of what we’re celebrating and why.
Inviting Jesus to His own party changes the mood and emphasis. If Christmas seems like your event, with your reputation on the line if everyone isn’t happy, you’ll be more defensive and angry when someone is rude or doesn’t appreciate your effort. It’s wonderfully freeing to recognize that Christmas isn’t about what’s given or received. It isn’t even about you, or your family. It’s about Jesus: His birth as a fully human Baby; His fully human life lived without sin; His fully human death on the cross. Its about His life given for us; forgiving all our sin so that we can forgive when others offend us.
We each have to choose to evaluate personal expectations. We have a way of bringing what we expect into existence. If we expect a day of joyful celebration, that’s exactly what we’ll enjoy, in spite of what others do or say! Expecting a day of tension and conflict, that’s what we’ll focus on, and that will be our experience. Living out of Jesus’ life within us, let’s watch for opportunities to make this Christmas joyful and meaningful for others.
Infinite Grace Ministries teaches how to evaluate and manage expectations by focusing on the limitless love and mercy of God. Visit infinitegrace. com or call 580-774-2884 to support and encourage this vital ministry today! This is a wonderful time for new beginnings. Schedule your personal appointment today!
