Dr. Dixie, I am appalled by how “normal” it seems to young adults to have sex with someone they hardly know, with no commitment. They have “dating sex” like we used to have movie dates! The two couples I know in which both spouses were virgins when they married endured enormous ridicule because they chose to wait. I know God says to wait, but I wish we had practical information for teens, that might make more sense to them.” Appalled by Sexual Carelessness Dear Appalled: Yes, practical, logical information is often more effective than only saying, “God said so.” Young adults who haven’t been taught about God’s design for sex rationalize their choices by saying, “Well, I know God will understand because… …she said she wanted to, and we just couldn’t help it.
....I know he really loves me.
…this is just how God made me—surely He wants me to enjoy His gift.
…I was tired of being hassled about being a virgin.
We cannot teach our children what we don’t know! Dr. Joe McIlhaney, president of Medical Institute for Sexual Health in Austin, TX has written an excellent and insightful book: Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children. He uses more than sixty years of sexual and biological studies and three-dimensional brain modeling, to show how sexual activity changes the brain.
This book requires thoughtful reading, as it clearly presents scientific proof that brain-altering, early, casual sex with multiple sexual partners destroys our God-designed ability to bond securely to one person. Just as Scotch tape that has been reused gathers so much junk it’s no longer sticky, those who participate in casual sex lose the ability to bond securely to one person. This perpetuates the “serial polygamy” cycle of repeated divorce and remarriage. Through scientific research, Dr. McIlhaney shows those who abstain from sex until marriage significantly reduce the likelihood of marriage problems, and increase the likelihood of marital satisfaction. As children we chanted… Johnny and Susie, sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love; then comes marriage!
Then comes Susie with a baby carriage.
The current version is: Johnny and Susie, on their second date, acting as if they are really mates.
First comes sex, then a baby carriage… But Johnny runs away, not interested in marriage!
For our protection, God clearly instructs us to reserve sexual activity for a life-long, monogamous, heterosexual marriage relationship. (Hebrews 13:4 The Message): “Honor marriage. Guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual, illicit sex.” Currently, over half of births to American women under age 30 occur outside marriage. Unwed mothers in greater numbers: drop out of school become dependent on government programs have emotional and physical problems have subsequent unmarried pregnancies are more likely to divorce when they do marry Even as we deal compassionately with the problem of early sex and single-mom births, we must stop treating it as normal or unavoidable.
Americans casual misuse of sex has led to terrible gender confusion and destruction, including the slaughter of 1,500,000 million human lives every year. The dead babies aren’t the only casualties: mothers and—increasingly—fathers involved in abortion often struggle with life-long debilitating guilt for destroying their own offspring.
Sex is an intense drive, designed to increase closeness between husband and wife while perpetuating the human race. Enjoyed within God’s design, it’s powerfully constructive. Misused, sex is the most destructive force in human experience.
Next week: Casual Sex and Depression Infinite Grace is a ministry of Biblical Guidance for those who have been hurt through the misuse of sex.
